Happiness comes and goes, like any other emotion. But there are so many ways to increase happiness that looks different for everyone. For example, doing a hobby you love, spending time with close friends and family, or simply being kind to yourself and others.
So there’s no reason to feel like happiness is out of reach or like you need an Instagram-worthy life to feel satisfied and fulfilled. However, as someone who has fallen into the social comparison trap by scrolling through highlight reels, I have felt this way and sometimes still do.
However, I’ve learned that happiness is already within you; you just have to channel it using these simple reminders backed up by science.
What is Happiness?
Happiness is more about the perception of your reality than what is actually going on. Therefore, something that makes one happy or life meaningful can differ from another’s happiness simply by creating their own meaning to it.
Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab podcast defines happiness with a social scientists’ definition because they can measure it – they think happiness is being happy in your life and being happy with your life. “In your life” refers to positive emotions such as joy, and social support, without overpowering negative emotions like anger, frustration, or sadness. So if the ratio is pretty even, Dr. Laurie Santos says you are pretty happy in your life.
Being happy with your life is more about purpose. Are you satisfied with your life? Is there meaning? Fortunately, there are ways to increase positive emotions and meaning to be happier in your day-to-day life, regardless of your mental state or life circumstances.
Gratitude
Simply being grateful for the things you have contributes to your happiness. You can start by expressing gratitude for your means of survival, such as the roof over your head, the food on your table, and waking up in a warm bed.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs entails physiological and safety before love and belonging. You can’t have strong social connections until your basic means of survival are met.
It’s worth noting that expressing gratitude towards your social connections is a habit of the happiest people. Even having one close friend or family member is enough to feel grateful and contributes to happiness. It’s about the meaning you give to your existing connections. Such as feeling a sense of belonging, having social support, or feeling appreciated for who you are—quality, not quantity, is what matters.
Dream Life Mastery program by Dr. Steve G Jones can help you build a life of excellent health and fulfilling relationships while being the best version of yourself.
Being Kind Makes You Happier
Ever notice how happy people are usually always kind? Studies show that counting one’s act of kindness for a week increases happiness. Furthermore, keeping count of the acts of kindness directed towards them made them feel happier. As a result, they showed more kind behaviour.
Kindness entails showing empathy toward others, which in turn makes them happy because they feel valuable to that person. For example, when someone is nice to you, you tend to feel grateful for that person and want to be around them, as gratitude arises when people receive kindness from others.
Not only does being kind to others strengthen well-being, but so does being kind to yourself. Everyone has an inner critic, but reframing those thoughts to more self-compassionate ones can reduce stress and increase your overall happiness. A good tip is to talk to yourself as you would speak to a best friend. You would encourage them, not be hard on them.
Through showing and receiving kindness, you will be happier and more likely to have stronger social connections and well-being in your daily life.
Journal Happy Memories
In terms of both quantity and quality, happier people have more positive memories in their daily lives – but it doesn’t mean their positive memories come naturally.
According to a Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study, recollections of a joyful event may be diminished by everyday events. So, if you have difficulty remembering your childhood happy events, you’re not alone. This is where the power of journaling comes into play.
A simple exercise is to journal the last time you laughed and how it made you feel. Who was there, what was the joke, and where were you at the time?
Writing down memories and moments is better ingrained in our minds than simply thinking about them because the act of writing improves memory. You also relive the moment like you were experiencing it all over again through writing and visualization.
Take five or ten minutes out of your day to write a happy moment you can recall to feel happier immediately. Doing this every day will allow your brain to access positive memories to remember them easier. Thus, it can lead to overpowering negative memories to feel more positive emotions in your daily life.
Meditate
Sitting still and focusing on your breathing reduces not only reduces stress and anxiety, but it makes you happier. Meditation involves setting a positive intention for the day in guided meditations, such as “loving-kindness,” which involves wishing yourself and others well with compassionate phrases.
Research shows that when loving-kindness meditation is practiced daily, it increases serotonin in the brain and increases positive emotions, purpose, and satisfaction in life. As Dr. Laurie Santos shared that happiness involves being happy in your life, and with your life, loving-kindness meditation contributes to these concepts. Being kind to yourself and others makes you happy, so meditating with kindness as your intention can make you happier every day when practiced over time.
